7/29...DAY 7, 11am

day 7. just trying to stay positive right now and not think of the week i still have to get through before i can eat like a human. i went from top of the world to bottom of the barrel in about 24 hours. right now im catching up on my juice intake and i'm starting to feel a little better. hopefully it was just a bout with too much on my plate and not enough nourishment that left me miserable. i noticed my tongue is MORE coated than it has been though, so i could be feeling crappy from an increase in toxins being flushed.

well i woke up at 7am this morning, antha fed JJ and i took care of the results of my laxative tea. i could barely stand up on my own, i was weak in the knees and decided to go back to bed and skip my SWF, no big deal, maybe i'll do it shortly. but i did get to sleep until 10:30 which is the latest i have slept since march probably. it was needed. so like i said, im catching up on my juice to get my sugars up again and then its off to the store for some supplies. i think i have to skip playing soccer this afternoon which kills me...its the best 3 hours of my week. but i'm pretty sure someone will be calling an ambulance for me if i run around in this heat today. a risk im not willing to take today.

socially, this fast is killing me. so much time spent with others at this point in my life revolves around a meal. just yesterday, anthas ride to queens fell through and my dad suggested that they watch the baby so that ant and i could go out to eat, just the 2 of us instead... i turned to him in the truck and said "i cant eat or drink anything, im not going to a restaurant to spectate." so antha was already dressed (her ride bailed about an hour before the dinner) and she was forced to drive into astoria alone. friday night we went to a friends place out east for the sole purpose of killing a keg leftover from his wedding. ok, i cant drink... and i cant eat any of the homemade guacamole either... so i just sat there holding down my end of the conversation. it was tolerable, but those situations are just impossible to stay away from. and its hard, im not going to lie. willpower gets you through the cravings, but sitting in front of an ice cold keg and a table of food for 3 hours is...thats a whole other level of shit right there.

i knew this wasnt going to be easy, its one of the reasons i decided to do it. to prove to myself that i CAN follow through on something that requires incredible self control, and i'm the only one i'm doing it for. not for money, not for a job or drug test, not for anything other than my own health. writing this blog has kept me honest though, and without it, i dont know if i would have the same results. if i was fasting and only my family knew about it, i cant say i would be where i am today. i'd like to think i would be, but after a couple hours like yesterday, i really dont know.

jenn and hugo are starting this tomorrow, i wish them luck and i hope they follow through. i think they'll be ok doing it together. sharing one bathroom in the morning...well thats another story.