7/26...DAY 4, 10am

yes, i am still alive. about yesterday... uneventful afternoon, i left work and drove home feeling really good. this is really hard to explain, but i noticed it while driving home and driving in this morning... i am just ALOT more focused while driving. reflexes, vision... its just really weird. it's like i can see 2 moves ahead of everything going on. who knows, this is what healthy people might feel like all the time for all i know... but for me, its new and enjoyable. is it worth more than a chicken sandwich... eh...i dont know.

so i got home thanks to my bionic vision around 6pm and i decided i would go to a family BBQ with antha. i had told her in the morning i was going to stay home, but i was feelin energetic and figured we could walk there (she said it was a few blocks away). so i made all my juice for today so i didnt have to deal later and the 3 of us took off. and walked...and walked....and walked... she finally gave me the map she printed out and i was def in over my head. 2.6 miles... what seemed like a good idea now had me sweating out garbage and leaving my stomach like a pit of despair. i chugged some juice but that shit only goes so far sometimes. we sat down on the deck and i played with baby joe for a bit and then what i was afraid of happened. the food started coming out. and i was hungry. 7pm is like hell hour. 7-8pm. brutal. i couldn't deal with sitting around knowing everyone would soon be talking to me with food in their mouths. anthas brother thankfully drove me home since it was too far to walk back at this point. i got pretty down when i got home, its hard to stay positive when youre hungry and tired and you smell and its still a little light out and you cant just go to sleep yet. i laid down and waited for ant to get home, got the kid to sleep, drank my tea and went to bed.

the mornings are great. renewed energy, the salt water flush... i got it nailed down. trick is two 16 oz. room temp water bottles. one teaspoon of salt in each. pound one in one long gulp. stand over sink, stare at the drain while you try to keep it down, tell yourself "i am weak and worthless" and quickly pound the other 16 oz. bottle in anger. it worked today like a charm. after that nature ran its course (its starting to look like someone broke a glow-stick in the toilet) and i got in to work.

tonight i'm going to see the NY redbulls at the meadowlands. since ill be in the car for prob 2 hours, im going to finish my gallon jug of juice during the day and then use it for a pee container while floyd drives. i pee ALOT. i packed my backup liter for before and after the game. i might try to get some juice into the game, but those assholes will prob bust my balls. and i dont want to risk losing precious juice. it'll be a gametime decision.

oh, and no weight loss for some reason this morning. still 204lbs. which is fine, i dont give a shit. i think our scale blows too. as long as my pants fit a little better in a week, im cool.